If you have show read posts disabled, there’s currently a bug where it hides your own posts. I think a fix is in the next release.

Some of the core devs, who also run lemmy.ml, are tankies. That being said, it’s an open standard and most of the popular instances are very against that mindset. The beauty and difficulty of an open, decentralized platform is that every instance can set their own ground rules and decide who to federate with.