I’d be interested in following along as well, I can’t afford any renovations at the moment but anything I can learn about in advance is a great help!

I posted a reply about the drinking part of your post but I also wanted really quickly here to post about the motivation thing. Something helped me a ton was realizing that we aren’t meant to feel motivated before doing things usually, unless we have already developed a good routine with it and at that point you aren’t going to worry much about motivation anyways.

I am sure I am explaining it poorly, but the idea is “Do not wait for inspiration, inspiration is a result not a pre-requisite”.

This article explains it far better though: https://www.entrepreneur.com/living/dont-wait-for-motivation-do-this-instead/232349

Oh gosh, it sounds so similar to my past I wish I could give some advice to get you to a sober version of yourself.

I guess one thing I can say that maybe is not a commonly expressed opinion, is to acknowledge the positives of drinking, specifically for you, and then find something else that can replace drinking. Provided we realize that anything we do as a routine over and over is likely to have negatives, and that the degree varies widely, all we would need to do is switch out drinking with a less dangerous routine.

Ill give myself as the example here though. For me, drinking was a social thing. I was increasingly forced to socialize more and more as part of my day (work and starting a family) and I at least when I was younger was someone who preferred long periods of time alone, and longer periods of socializing would leave me exhausted. Alcohol made me the star when I was socializing, although I would realize later on that I only thought that in my head and I was making a fool out of myself far more regularly.

That was the main trigger that lead to drinking, and then I was convinced also that “there are definitely people who can drink one or two a day and be fine”, so that was my goal of “healthy” drinking. Anyone who has been through addiction will quickly realize what dosing your drug of choice every day without fail is going to lead to tolerance and addiction in most cases, which is what happened.

In a twist of horribleness, I would use alcohol itself to cover up the negative side-effects of alcohol. I know that sounds ridiculous at first, but for example after about 6 months of the casual daily drinking and I had moved on to daily binge drinking I would drink to deal with the hangovers immediately after waking up. That ones common, hair of the dog right? But also if I had a headache because I was dehydrated from drinking only beer or liquor, I would try to drink that discomfort away. Must just need more alcohol right?

Anyways, a less dangerous routine right? If you get to the point I was, someone had to stop me physically to sober me up for at least a handful of days before I could get a handle on it. Hopefully you are far earlier in this process where the discomfort caused by swapping out drinking for another routine will be bearable. For me unfortunately I was only able to switch to something that I am sure many would say is just as bad as drinking, and that is smoking recreationally legal marijuana in my state. I can’t say what it will be for you of course, but for me and dealing with the amount of socializing that’s required working a full time customer service job and having a wife and two kids it is a world of difference, as my wife can attest to.

Final thought: Drinking is the worst solution to almost every problem, pick something else, ANYTHING ELSE. You would literally be better off if you went to a methadone clinic tomorrow and switched to that. I am NOT advising that is the ideal way to get off of alcohol, I am saying its a routine that could replace alcohol that would be healthier for you by leaps and bounds. My point is that baby steps can work here, just go with something just a little less bad, and then when you get used to that in 2 or 3 weeks make another baby step if you still don’t like where you are.

TLDR: Drinking is the worst solution to almost every problem, pick something else, ANYTHING ELSE. You would literally be better off if you went to a methadone clinic tomorrow and switched to that.

Ha! That really is the other side of it. Done a ton of spring cleaning this year, which is just code for garbage, garbage, garbage.

Maybe I’ve just been misunderstanding the draw of baseball all these years, because that 2-6th inning nap sounds amazing. Maybe I’ve just been doing this wrong all these years lol

If it helps there are some interesting papers on the idea that motivation comes from seeing the results of your own actions, and not before.

So that means you are supposed to feel this lack of motivation, and once you start writing and the feedback loop kicks in, the motivation will come on its own.

Feel free to ignore me if that doesn’t help but here’s a link to some more information on the idea: https://www.entrepreneur.com/living/dont-wait-for-motivation-do-this-instead/232349

Lol are you me?! Small world when our entire families are playing the same games!

I really got the feeling when I read about this, that this is going to be a major turning point in this conflict, I just don’t know what that outcome will be unfortunately. I hope it’s things getting better rather than worse :/

It’s kinda funny to me, that the day you described sounds like an amazing day to me, mostly because my 3 year old and 10 year old boys are still turning every day into chaos lol

I’m taking notes for when they are out of the house though and it’s just me and my wife finally!

I’ve been there too, remember that even if you didn’t have the medication to sleep through the weekend, YOU WOULD STILL SURVIVE.

Of course there can be a difference between a horrible experience and just a bad one, but sometimes the little phrases we can repeat to ourselves in our head can go a long way to providing peace and calmness.

I hope this doesn’t read like it’s easy to handle this stuff, it’s not, but hopefully you will find the strength when you need it!

I’ve never heard of a “pull day” at the gym before, what’s that mean?

I think it was nearly 3 years in our new house before we finally opened the last box and sorted it all so don’t feel to bad!