Imagine being such a loser that the only job you qualify for is taking a bullet for the worst member of the parasite class.

Smart Pipe Inc. is a registered sex offender.

I think they think they’re posting to their instance, adultswim.fan, and asking what connection it has to the old Adult Swim message boards?

Ah, but some day the sapient squids who come after us will re-invent video recording and, assuming they tell each other stories, the industry will inevitably start up again.

Sometimes, the world is black

And tears run from your eyes

And maybe we’ll all get really sick

And maybe we’ll all die

So…

Let’s build a snowman!

We can make him our best friend

We can name him Tom

We can name him George

We can make him tall

Or we can make him not so tall

Snowman!

He’ll have a happy face

A happy smile, a happy point of view

If you build me a snowman

Then I’ll build one for you!

Short as it is on the cosmic scale, history’s been a pretty long time. Nobody found wheat and started making bread the next day. It was an incredibly long process that probably started with soaking the grains they were eating to make them more palatable and easier to consume. Then somebody thought to heat the wet grains. Then someone decided to crush the grains and you had porridge or gruel. A few iterations later someone comes up with a simple unleavened bread. Naturally-occurring yeast and dough left alone for a few hours could probably lead to rudimentary rising dough from there, and eventually we have brioche and marble rye.

Not my cat, just a random internet discovery.

100 old Karens agree: “We’d like to speak to the manager.”

Wow, fuck Robin Hood, I guess.

Oh of course, not to take that away from him. I just figured mentioning his performing role helped show the contrast.

I’ve been… makin a man, with blond hair and a tan,

And he’s good for relieving my… tension.

I get the sentiment, I do. But can we please stop associating tacos with that blubbering sludgefuck? Tacos are a beautiful thing.

Bro, this is clearly a fantasy scenario where we have a non-liquid substance with the same effects as alcohol. No one’s asking you to make tequila fun dip for real.

Because it’s one thing to not shame ignorance, and quite another to entertain people who are being deliberately obtuse.

For years I thought he sang “the cemetery where I married a thief” in Otherside, and that still made more sense than the real line.

I’d guess that unless you were already conceived at the time, there’s a good chance you don’t exist in a universe where Kennedy lived. Massive historical event, butterfly effects all down the timeline.

Where were you with this kind of genius in 1993?

Would that mean that the cake is not, in fact, a lie?

Or is it a deeper commentary on the realism of a representation of a thing, a la Magritte’s The Treachery of Images? The cake is a lie because it’s not a cake, it’s a representation of a cake.

Doc, this is heavy.

This is what I opened the thread for.