Lots of men out there just being men

True. But nobody cares about them because they aren’t bothering anyone. But they do get lumped in with the controversial men.

Like I don’t have much of a clue about Tate or any of that stuff. But if I tell people that then I’m guilty of ignorance or something and I need to ‘educate’ myself about that stuff so I can… denounce it? Because apparently just not knowing or caring is complicity or something.

here on lemmy it’s super popular. but the average person admires wealthy people and if you shit on them or critiize them they will just accuse you of being jealous of their success.

most people want to be rich they see a CEO and they wish to be like that. They don’t think it’s bad.

It’s socially acceptable to hate and be biased against men. Especially white men, and especially working-class white men.

It’s not so socially acceptable to hate on wealthy white men. The point is you have to become a wealthy white guy, or get bent.

You will also notice the discussion is frame that any man who isn’t independently wealthy is a failure at life and undeserving of friendship/love. The advice is always ‘get rich and get fit’ as if that is the solution to your loneliness. It isn’t.

FWIW I never had issue with romance/friends most of my life. But I have had them the past 5 or so years. I’m a middle-class white guy and my social interactions are falling apart. Esp when people find out I don’t fit the archetype of ‘rich white guy’. I’ve had so many people be friendly to me and then they find out I don’t own a home/drive expensive car/etc and they immediately stop interacting with me, because all they want from me is money. I’ve also been accuse of various forms of bigotry more in the past few years when previously I never dealt with that ever in my life.

I think it’s mostly just the ill-affects of social media and people’s warped expectations. I know a lot of people living good lives… men and women both, but they always depressed and angry because they aren’t millionaires. And frankly I find that attitude alienating and it also makes me want to isolate, since so much of what new people I meet talk about is their anger at not being wealthy. And if you ever question this or suggest maybe life isn’t so bad? Well you’re clearly a bigoted proto Nazi…

It wasn’t like this 5-10 years ago. I feel like I got my first taste of ‘men are awful’ social media fueled BS in the 2010s. Now it feels like that’s just he default belief of most people. It’s really hard for me to find a lady romantic or unromantic, who just wants to constantly shit on men generally. And to find men who also don’t shit on other men. And everyone where i live is in this weird scramble to distance themselves from whiteness and masculinity.

For me, I am feeling less and less lonely the more I am alone. Mostly because my perspective isn’t the same as most people’s. I am very happy and comfortable and appreciative and that doesn’t vibe in a world full of very bitter people who think if you don’t subscribe to theri flavor of bitterness, you’re a traitor. I recently bailed on some of my volunteer/community orgs because they have been consumed by judgemental nasty people and they were making me depressed being around people who just want to be miserable and pissy all the time and blame white men for their own personal failings. My favorite is the gender-skeptical types working in low-wage jobs and being angry at ‘white men’ for preventing them from having stable jobs… but the truth is these people are totally unreliable and would be horrible at professional work. They are their own worst enemy.

Yeah but that type of environment requites people who aren’t believers, but who are thinkers. Who don’t think belief is merely a set of dogma that must be protect and proselytized.

It’s all about controlling the narrative.

Anyone who doesn’t comply with whatever the narrative is gets banned. Whatever the political ideology is, it devolves into ‘true believers’ vs everyone else, and the true believers are the ones who have no idea what their ideology really is other than shouting slogans and issuing purity tests on their fellow members.

my fav is people who harass you via messaging about some random comment you left months/years ago about how deeply hurt and offended they are.

I’m fascinated by the level of egotistical delusion it takes to be offended by random internet comments, let alone ones from old threads.

it’s not tech that is the problem. it’s predictive algorithms that push users to passive consumption of media.

The internet was interesting when it was random. algorithms remove randomness. corporations loathe randomness. in the 2000s everyone was going on about how tech/internet was going to allow us this international cultural renaissance by making everything everywhere accessible to everyone…

Remember when netflix and spotify algorithms actually helped you find interesting and new content? I do. But those algorithms didn’t promote the right content… so they were changed to promote the ‘right’ content that benefited their owners most, not the users. Now if i want to find random/new/interesting stuff… I have to manually search for it and know exactly what I’m trying to find… because that type of content is actively suppressed.

the algo driven internet has only been predominantly since the 2010s

it generally only rewards group think and rage bait. like every other algorithmically driven social media platform.

and trolls will report/ban anything that deviates from that as controversial or harmful.

It’s helpful in the nominal sense of allowing mods to dismiss people without having to do any work themselves. Which is precisely the problem AI is designed to solve… human beings have to do work and make judgemental calls. People generally do not like doing work if it can be avoided.

The same way that you can look at someone’s post history, skim it, and more or less understand what their deal is.

Most users on reddit don’t have this diverse set of interests or posts. Most of them post on the same subs and repeat the same types of posts… ad nauseam. Most people, online, aren’t much more sophisticated in their language use or POV or anything… than a bot.

Sure, 10 years ago you’d look at someone’s post history and it would be all over the place, and they’d be writing detailed and nuaced paragraphics in lots of detail… but that’s not what reddit is like anymore, or most of the internet really. God I remember when libertarians actually had decent theoretical argumentation to defend their viewpoints… and now it’s just memes and cliche phrases repeated over and over.

Pretty easy for any LLM to parse a person who just incessantly posts about the same stuff over and over. And if it came across someone doing long-form explanatory stuff… it would just ignore that data since that doesn’t fit the task LLM is designed to process.

Yes. I really struggle with some queer folks because they just… refuse to realize other people aren’t like them. Then they go on rants against cishet people for doing the same thing, but hey if they do it it’s totally cool! It’s insanely hypocritical.

because people don’t care about reality. they care about the fiction they are writing in their head.

i’ve known plenty of kinky people who were normie af and looked down on nerd/geek stuff as childish and stupid.

People need to be on a team. They don’t really do very well with thinking for themselves or taking issues/problems individually.

They want a wholesale solution and that requires being part of team A or B, one good, other bad. And believing there are no alternatives.

You’ve got it backwards. Society doesn’t work without a looming threat, whether that’s an enemy or the environment.